pinkballs

In my dream, I had  decided to share my space and my home with roommates. It was a little chaotic in the bathroom LOL with everyone trying to use it and put on makeup. I was talking to a guy in my home, and a friend of mine came up to me at the same time and started talking about sex. The guy disappeared. I was then told that my parents were outside waiting for me to come out and get them.  I went out to find them, but they weren’t there. After that, I could not find my way back home. I was so lost. I did not even know my street address.  I just knew it was gate 13.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what this dream means. I am and have been going through a total inner transformation of myself in the past year.  In the past few months, I had some very powerful guided meditations sessions over the phone with Joanna Kennedy, The Center For Love and Happiness. She helped me tremendously.  In the past two weeks, I have had two more very powerful sessions with her.

There were some traumatic childhood  memories (especially around the age of 13) that she helped me release. My mother violated my “sacred space” in so many ways. My father on the other hand was the best darn father anybody could ever want; however I did not feel like he belonged in our house, since he was not my biological father. I did not know my biological father, but I felt like he belonged there more then the father who raised me. Everyday of my life, I felt like he invaded my space just by being in the house. I felt like I had no choices. As a result, as an adult, I wouldn’t allow anyone to share my space. Many of my relationships were short, because I had no desire to share my space with anyone. We would connect up to a certain point. Yes, I connected intimately and emotionally with men, but only to a certain point.  I would not allow them to enter my “sacred space”. Because of the help in these sessions with Joanna, I actually met someone recently who I connected on a level that I had never allowed myself to connect with before. It was a short relationship, but he left an indelible imprint on my soul. This relationship showed me how much of a transformation I had made in my life. The dream also showed me about my deepest fears of never finding a long term true love. The dream showed me that the negative influences of my parents disappeared.

In the dream, a friend talked about sex in front of a guy I liked, which was very very true in real life (my last boyfriend that ended September 25), so it showed me that the dream was also about him. I am feeling a little lost in my soul since the ending of that relationship. This last Saturday night (not a dream), I had a date with a very attractive man that I met at a singles get together at my club. We kissed, and I felt absolutely nothing-. All I felt was numbness. There was no emotion, no sexual excitement-absolutely nothing.. I had to immediately excuse myself saying I was tired and end the date right then and there. Yes, I am feeling a little lost, and I am so deeply missing the man I was in a relationship with, but I will find my way again back to love again and once again share my “sacred space” with someone. I just need time and God’s love.

On the positive side, the exciting part of this dream is that it showed me that I am now willing to share my “sacred space” with the right man.  I love the feeling of connection. It also showed that the negative childhood influences of my parents have gone away. Now,  I just need time to heal.

 

 

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