Last night, in my dream programming ritual, I called my Dream Doula, my Soul and Archangel Raziel into my dreams. My intention was to continue my dream work in finding where the vows of poverty began in my past lives and my ancestorial line; then cutting those cords permanently in all directions and dimensions of time. I also asked for the continuation of guidance and lighting my path to greater wealth and success and a higher income, and the release of trapped emotions concerning money. Although my dreams went in a different direction then I expected, they were very enlightening for me.
DREAM RECALL #1
I wake up a little after 5am with the following dream memory. There is a tall man that I like, but he likes somebody else. I go to a restaurant, and I am siting at a table alone. It feels very close to what looks like a stage. This man that I like and the woman are standing on this stage. The stage is crowded with people. I think that perhaps it is some kind of contest, and the winner is about to be announced. I watch them to see how they interact with each other. Suddenly, a woman (perhaps the woman he liked better) walks off the stage and past my table saying “He’s way too old for me anyway”. A beautiful blond waitress suddenly comes over to me, and says “Take off that hat and come and help me put on my makeup”. I say “OK”, and I get up to follow her.
DREAM RECALL #2
I wake up at about 8:20am from the following dream., I arrive at a destination with luggage. There are a lot of people I know that are staying there. When I arrive, my brother is there. Everyone is surrounding my brother’s butt. He has a really bad sore by his tailbone, and it looks to be infected. At one point, I am sitting in what looks like the living room. I am eating chocolate that I find strewn around. I take out my hormone cream stick, and I proceed to put some on the inside of my forearm (like I do in real life). Way too much comes out. I am trying to figure out how that could have happened. I am told that a little kid pushed the hormone stick without me looking. I tried to wipe off most of it from my arm. I then go outside, and I jump in the backseat of a car with people in it that I know. The car starts to drive. I tell the driver to stop, because I forgot my purse and all identification of myself. I also tell them to go on without me. When I walk back in the house, I decide that I have had enough of the chaos. I start gong around picking up all the pieces of my clothing and other items of mine strewn all over the rooms of the place I am staying at. I manage to gather all of my things. I give at least one bigger item away that is in a bag to someone. I did not want to carry it in my luggage. In this part of my dream, I am feeling overwhelmed and that I have no privacy.
DREAM INTERPRETATION AND REALITY CHECK FOR DREAM SEGMENT #1
In Dream Recall #1, during the dream I am experiencing feelings of great sadness and loss and of being unloved. Yes, I want to feel important, noticed and loved. My relationship memories are crowded with sadness and feelings of being unwanted. I ask myself what do I need to do to release these trapped emotions. I am wearing a hat that I was not aware of. My question is what emotions have I not dealt with in my love life? As the day moves on, I suddenly remembered that I had asked for my trapped emotions to be released having to do with money. About 15 years ago, while a member of a nudist resort in California, I fell in love with a man within the group I hung out with. I felt, happy, connected and fulfilled there until a string of unfortunate events happened to end the relationship with the man, which led to the disconnection from the group that I felt so connected to. I completely lost the feelings of being in Heaven when I entered through the gates of that nudist resort. The man I loved found someone else who he later married. Although this dream was not directly influenced by money, love and money for me go hand and hand. Ever since then, my trapped emotions have effected my health. I have had IBS, acid reflex. I have also had pain my lower left back where I had a benign tumor removed. .. This is telling me that I need to continue to work on those trapped emotions in my dreams tonight.
DREAM INTERPRETATION AND REALITY CHECK FOR DREAM SEGMENT #2
In Dream Recall #2, I experienced feelings of overwhelm and an overcrowded feeling. I also felt like I was not in control of my environment. The sore on my brother’s butt could be perhaps the pain I am feeling from my brother regarding some issues with money. He is a true pain in the ass, and he has been a sore spot for me all my life. By putting on my hormones, I am identifying with the feminine juicy part of myself and wanting to maintain the balance within myself. My inner child must be telling me something about my hormones. Perhaps I am taking too much. Maybe that is something I need to explore and get tested for. Maybe my inner child is in conflict with my adult self over love and intimacy. By getting out of the passenger seat, I chose to take control of my life and to take control of my money beliefs (purse) and to identify with new core beliefs (ID). In picking up my things, I am picking up the pieces of my soul (soul recovery). In doing so, I am lightening the load (so to speak), and perhaps I am releasing those trapped emotions by choosing not to be in the car and in that house.
My intention is to continue to work on my trapped emotions from the traumatic events that happened to me 15 years ago.