First and foremost, in my mind, it is NOT ok to break up with someone in a text or email message. I have read recently where a huge number of people dump their boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other digitally these days. It started with computers, then cell phones and now there is on line dating. Oh  and let us not forget  social networking, like facebook, where people can break up in front of the online universe. Through online methods, it makes it easier for those who have commitment issues to avoid the pittfalls of being confronted in a breakup.

Here is what I read in eharmony “Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee breaking up isn’t easy. The relationship could have only lasted a few dates or it may have stretched years but how you handle the breakup is ultimately going to be a reflection of you and the lasting impression the other person has”.

So many people these days find it better for them to communicate digitally (non verbally), but to break up with someone or deliver important news in a text or email is a horrible excuse to avoid confrontation. What the heck happened to face to face communication and phone calls? I believe they choose text and email, because they are afraid of confrontation; however, it only makes the situation worse. Seriously, I love to text and email, but I would NEVER deliver important news or break up with someone that way unless they initiated the first text or email. If they do that, then I will respond with a text or email back at them; because it will feel like they are avoiding communication with me. I must admit, I did break up with someone in an email about 8 years ago. I was the initiator of this email, and I always regretted it. I vowed never to do it again. I know I hurt him deeply.

I do not care what dynasty we are in, direct verbal communication is so important in relationships-spouses, family members, lovers and ex lovers. There is less misunderstandings, because you can talk it out. I recently had someone that I was dating send me an unexpected and very confusing email. We had just seen eachother the day before, so he could have delivered his message to me in person. He had decided to “explore” someone else while still wanting to date me. Sorry, I don’t share penises.  I wish he had talked to me in person. If he had, we might have been able to talk it out. To me, it felt like he was wanting ME to break up with HIM.  Who knows now, since he took the chicken shit way out.  I know we only dated for a month, but it all went down the toilet in one small and very impersonal paragragh.


Text and email messages should be saved for romantic messages only.