It has been six days since I completed Tony Robbins Date With Destiny Seminar. It is Sunday morning, and I feel so blessed right now. I am suddenly feeling an incredible sense of peace and joy inside of me with the thought and realization that I feel a sense of connection. Connection is a feeling that I have both strived for but have also been afraid of all my life. At the same time, as I felt that my stomach started to bother me. I have held that fear of connection in my stomach all my life. As I have gotten older, i have had problems with IBS, etc. As a child, it felt unsafe for me to feel a sense of connection. Those feelings came from my mom and from the feeling that connecting and loving were too painful to experience. I stayed disconnected in school and didn’t allow myself to have friends. Click here to read my blog post on the incredible experience at Tony Robbins Date With Destiny in a meditation when I unexpectedly connected to my biological father who disappeared when I was 2.
I moved to a clothing optional resort in Florida 11 years ago to feel that sense of connection, and now I am connected to a huge nudist community here in Pasco County, Florida. It’s wonderful, but I know it can be more. As an adult, connection to community and friends became very important to me, since I wasn’t able to feel and stay connected in romantic relationships for long periods of time.. I thrive on the special holidays and events here at my club , because alot of people show up. When I am seeing a lot of people and knowing a lot of people, I love it. I feel connected.
Connection in relationships has been difficult, which is why I have stayed single for over 40 years since my divorce when I was 21.
My mom died 3 years ago, and I strived always to stay disconnected from her (as I felt she invaded my sacred space). Right now, I feel her around me-the first time since she passed away. I have a sense that she feels me shifting too. I know I am shifting and changing.