Last night, I programmed my dreams with God and My Soul. I asked for 3 opportunities to experience on dream journey:
#1 I asked God and My Soul to light my path and show me how to get out of my own way, so that my dreams, goals, desires and wishes (love, prosperity, success, etc.) can come true in HIS perfect timing in the most surprising way that I will recognize..
#2 I asked for the connecting to and the raising of my I AM Vibration as I travel on my spiritual journey of enlightenment and advancement.
#3 I asked God and my soul to help me astral travel to a place anywhere in the world where my soul and I yearn to travel and to experience the beauty and taste of that country and the fulfillment of my desires to travel.
I woke up suddenly very upset and very emotional around 5:30am from a very very brief dream snippet in which someone very rich was being very condescending towards me. My brother was on mind. I went back to half sleeping, and I am way high up looking down on lots of cars and traffic on the road below.
That brief dream snippet about someone being very condescending to me made me realize that what is in my way is that I have never felt good enough. I under value myself. I must have briefly astral traveled, but I am not sure where I was. It was a big city.. I do know that I was in a higher place, which could be that I am raising to a higher I AM vibration. I AM a speck in the world as every single one of us are specks in the world, and we matter.
My brother downplays me all the time, and he can be very condescending and resentful of me. He acts like he is better then me. We are not talking much these days (his preference).
I have a traveling soul. I traveled a tremendous amount last year, and I enjoyed every bit of my travels with no regrets. Now, I need to wait until at least 2018 before I can comfortably travel again. I am feeling sad about it. I feel my traveling soul getting itchy. My soul is yearning.
Today, I had a significant realization about what is standing in my way of being in a long term committed relationship. I am still single after 45 years of being divorced. I have had some nice relationships, but they have never panned out to anything really serious. I married my ex husband at 19 years old to get out of the house. I talked myself into being in love, and I did not pay attention to the red flags. The moment I said I DO at the ceremony, my body, my mind, my soul and spirit went into shock. I literally went numb, and I could not feel anything. On the honeymoon, I could not eat, because everything tasted like straw. Within six months of being married, I had to go in the hospital for severe pneumonia for I think a couple of weeks. There was no abuse or anything; however, I finally had the courage to leave the marriage; however, I have not wanted to get anywhere serious with anyone since then. I am still holding that shock and trapped emotions in my body. Something to work on tonight in my dreams. I have to forgive myself for marrying him, so I can move on from that.
QUESTION FOR MY SOUL
How can I get out of my way of not feeling good enough? How can I forgive myself for marry someone I did not love?
I will repeat the following I AM affirmation. I AM MORE THEN GOOD ENOUGH. I AM MORE THEN WORTHY ENOUGH. I AM PERFECT AS I AM, AND I DESERVE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL GIFTS THAT THE UNIVERSE HAS FOR ME NOW .
I will continue through my dreams on my spiritual dream journey of I AM enlightenment.
I will work on forgiving myself for marrying a man that I did not love, and also work on freeing myself from all those trapped emotions that I am still holding onto in my body.