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At the end of this blog, I have quoted a very special prayer by Marianne Williamson in her book “Illuminata”. This prayer will help you to heal your fear of intimacy, so that you can share your sacred space with a lover or future lover. “Illuminate” by Marianne Williamson is a very special book of prayer for me. I have used these prayers over the years, and they work.
I would like to share with you my story. I did quite a bit of journaling last night about sharing my “Sacred Space, and I had some ah ha moments in the process. Afterwards, when I knew I was going to blog about Sharing Your “Sacred Space”, I noticed that when I googled “Sacred Space” mostly what came up was finding our “Sacred Space” outside of ourselves-like out in nature or someplace special in your house or creating an alter, etc. Don’t get me wrong, all those are important for the nourishment of our soul; however, I am talking about our inner “Sacred Space” where our heart, soul, mind and spirit live and where our inner God lives.
Our “Sacred Space” is our whole inner being. If our “Sacred Space” has experienced violation and crossing of boundaries, then all aspects of our “Sacred Space” are affected and in adult years lead to fear of intimacy. For myself, I chose “separation” instead of “connection” in order to feel safe and to live in my childhood environment. Of course, in choosing “separation”, it effected in my adult life. It is very difficult to thrive in romantic relationships when you choose “separation”. I ended up attracting mirrors of myself who also have difficulties with commitment, connection or separation.
Why would we want to share our “Sacred Space”? The reason is simple. We want connection and intimacy. Without connection and intimacy we feel “separate” and suffer a disconnection from the parts of ourselves that need love and intimacy . How can our hearts, minds, bodies and souls be nourished without “connection”. Without “connection”, we feel alone and empty. I learned early on that “feeling separate” was safer for me that feeling connection”. Oh boy, was I ever wrong! Where as I believed my mother stole my identity as a child, I have more then lived up to the discovery of my hot pink personality so many years ago. I am my own unique person.
Who better then me is obviously capable, as your psychic, for guiding you through the highs and lows of love. I have been there done that, and I have learned from my experiences. I had a childhood without choice or any sense of privacy. I wasn’t allowed to grieve the loss of my biological father who disappeared. It was “taboo” in my family to speak about it. If I showed any sense of grief, it felt like I was punished and made to feel like I was wrong to grieve his disappearance. My mother (RIP) invaded my “Sacred Space” in so many ways. In order to protect myself, I didn’t allow myself to get close to anyone as a child. I isolated myself and didn’t allow myself to connect with my peers in school. As a result, I missed out on a lot of connections, friendships and fun in my school years. I was too afraid to let my guard down and be vulnerable. I kept myself alone. As a child, I felt like I had no choice but to feel claustrophobic in my growing up years. My mother remarried, and he adopted us (RIP). Looking back, he was an awesome father, but I didn’t know it growing up. I didn’t allow myself to “connect” with him, and kept myself “separate” from him at all times. I didn’t want him in our house. I felt he didn’t belong there and that he was in the way. I was angry every single day while I lived in that house, because he was ALWAYS there. It was like I didn’t have a choice in who I shared my space with. He knew I felt that way, but he didn’t say anything until years later when he was going through some problems with his heart. It was that he said something to me.
In my adult years, I didn’t allow myself to remarry. I married early to get out of a childhood in which I felt trapped only to feel trapped in the marriage I got into. Once again I didn’t feel like I had choices in who I shared my space with, and I felt claustrophic as a young adult stuck in a loveless marriage. Sharing my space meant that I had to experience being trapped all over again.
I am discovering these days that I am allowing my inner guard to come down. I have done a hell of a lot of healing and work on myself -especially in this last year, I would so much like to share my sacred space with a future soul mate. I have recently shared my sacred space with someone, and it felt wonderful to finally share it with such a fine sexy man. Although that beautiful experience did not work out, it showed me that I am very very ready to “connect” with another in a deep way. Don’t get me wrong, over the years that I have been single, I have had a lot of fun, romance and intimacy, but not the kind of “sacred space” sharing that I needed to nourish my heart, mind, body and soul. As a result, I certainly didn’t experience the love connections that I so deeply needed in my life to feel loved, wanted and cherished.
FEAR OF INTIMACY PRAYER BY MARIANNE WILLIAMSON.
Please show me how to love.
Teach me how to extend my light into the life of another.
Remove the barriers to my soul, the walls which stand in front of my heart,
My commitment to aloneness,
My resistances to joining.
I do not seek love, dear God, for I know it is all around me.
I seek instead the healing of my resistances to it, the strengthening of my spirit;
That I might learn to love, to love well, to love fully, to love deeply.
When my true love calls, dear Lord,
Please keep my ears open.
Let me not shut down.
Let me not forsake him.
Let me always remember that his call to love him is my call to love You.
Thank You very much.
IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU REPEAT THIS PRAYER AT LEAST 15 MINUTES A DAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
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